


Hurt no more

by Noahstarr



Category: Death Note
Genre: Abuse, Cutting, Drug Addiction, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, passed prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 09:39:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noahstarr/pseuds/Noahstarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day mello leaves matt in there apartment to join the mafia, is the day matt met the darker side of love. This story will be going kinda fast so if anyone wants extra anything in it I am open for suggestions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my frist with one of my favorite pairings. So please nice comments and I will happly take any constructive criticism. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy. If people like this ill make out more then a one shot. (matts pov.) Also I do not own death note or make any money what so ever off this writing

It was the same just like anyothere day. I was sitting on are tattered ugly green couch I had junked picked on the side of the road on my way to the store to go buy mello his daily chocolate . To captivated on the tv screen trying to beat my last high score on my new video game, I didn't notice the strong presence of a lingering stare across the room. "mail we need to talk." Instantly pausing my game I look over to mello leaning up against the wall. Arms crossed around his chest pulling the tight leather jacket of his even tighter around him. Blue eyes set on me with such a set of determination it sent a small shiver down my spine. Starting to feel the tension the air grow, I nodd silently to indicate for him to continue. Now what came out of his mouth was nothing I ever excepted him to say. I was expecting him to probably give me his usual speech about down with kira or even bitch about near.............never ever would I have expected....this. "mail.....I'm leaving for the mafia." Dumbly I blink and start to open my mouth to qestion when I should start packing because obviously he already has seeing the black back pack behind mello. But mello being the quick witted blond he was quickly read my mind before even a syllable was uttered on my part. "matt. I'M leaving for the mafia" again I wounder when I should start packing. Clearing his throughout with irritation " matt your not coming with me.....as in I'm leaving and your staying. " as if I didn't here a word he said I get up and start to walk to my bed room to pack but mello grabs my arm as I turn to go into the hallway. Pulling me up close to him he slowly pulls down my goggles. Staring me right in my eyes he repeats himself again. " matt your a big boy you can handel your self now . Its been to long.I have let this go on to long" " NO!" I scream as my mind slowly starts to catch up on were this is going. But he just continues speaking. "I need this mail. I need the strength and power to beat kira.....and I now see that your holding me back.." Paralyzed shaking "please plea ple I I need you.... Ill be stronger. I can help you. You need me mello........I NEED Yo-". tears falling down from eyes like a river gliding down a stream I couldn't even bear to finish my sentence choking hazardously on the lump now forming in my throughout. Mello pulls me up against him rapping his arms around me. He leans down whispering calmly and breathing hot air in my ear " see you depend to much on me...this IS for the best....in time you well heal......meet someone new move on matt...its time."


	2. The impact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! By the way I don't own death note but well offer cookies for comments please ;)

Seconds, minutes, hours, has passed since mello has left me. Still laying crippled on the floor were he left me. My hand raises to touch my now brusing cheek. -flash back - "no you can't leave... I can't live with out you...you made me this way" I whispered angrily hiting mello in his chest but that only made him hold me tighter. "matt you must let go of me....this thing you have become....no I cant stay." Every time he said my name it souned more and more like he belived this nonsense for the best. Out of no where a fire of anger rocked my mind and the next thing I know is mello stumbling backwards holding his face. Disbelief on both are faces. I then hit him and to my amazement it felt good. "No mello I won't except this from you. You made me dependent on you." Now shaking again with a new found adrenalin I jump on him. Knocking him backwards on his back I pin his arms down . Fresh tears swell in my eyes and for the frist time I start to see regret in his eyes. "You YOU!YOU BEAT ME INTO THI-this thing you call me. You made me love you. Mel." a dark cloud starts to set in my mind an he must had of seen it coming because he starts trying to scream this nonsense at me again.........h.but I silence him with a kiss. -end of flashback- shaking my head violently then hiting my head on the wall repeatedly. I can't think back no more no I must not. Trying to stand to walk to the bathroom proved more of a challenge then I had thought. Collapsing multiple times. I finally fall into the bathroom landing hard on the sink. There with out a doubt there will be a bruse on my ribs as a dry heev over the sink. Taking deep breaths I look up at the mirror. What I see shouldn't really suprise me. Dull red hair, deep dark circles around my eyes and a yellowish bruse on my cheek. I sigh deeply and trun the facet on hot water reaching my hands under the water to wash my face I freeze in place. My mind went into a agonizing shock of clarity. Scared shitless I slowly look back up to my reflection. What I see confirms my nightmare. A fresh bruse on my cheek should have been purple with the fource I was hit with.....not yellow. It would take alot of time to become yellow. Meaning at least days would have to pass. Not seconds, minutes, or hours,.............

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read my work!


	3. One month later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Highly edited to my fullest existen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own death note our make any profit from my writing

The stench of old and new boxs of chinese food found its way deep into my lungs as I took a deep breath to steady my self. Struggling with a ratty riped up leather belt. in a hast to tighten it up and a finely be able to tap a vain. I scramble around the living room floor to grab my needle. You see I have tryed multiple times to kill my self and prayed to any god that would put pitty on my soul. But all my desperate please for help went unnoticed. When you find Then lose your soul mate , or that special person that fits right in the center of your heart you will feel like even dying wouldn't be much of a salvation. So this is why a siring full of heron is currently being shot down deep into my aching vain. when the realization set in that even in death I wouldn't find peace it made me want to rip out my heart even more. Feeling the warmth of my newly acquired drug spread through out my body I let my self fall back wards on the floor. Clutching my hair tight in both hands I can't help but to laugh out loud. Who ever thought first that they would be finding peace in death must have been out of there fucking mind. I would rather be a strung out junkie only existing in one big ass haze of delirium that supports his habit by hacking rich bastereds bank accounts. But even now I feel to week. The wanting to give up becomes stronger and stronger every day. Why mello? Why didn't you just shoot me in my sleep. Rolling over on the floor into a box of who knows what I curl up in a ball. closing my eyes tight. leting a single tear drop down. I let my right hand come down to clutch at my chest. everything I dont want to face in life is in reality. the Reality is once in awhile I'll smell your scent . Once in awhile I here your laugh or demand of more chocolate. But every time I drift off to sleep I see your face and that to me is worth more then any peace or salvation I could possibly find in death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !!!!!


	4. One month later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own death note our make any profit from my writing

The stench of old and new boxs of chinese food found its way deep in my lungs as I took a deep breath to steady my self. Struggling with a ratty riped up leather belt in a hast to tighten it up around my arm to finely be able to tap a vain. I scramble around the living room floor to grab my needle. You see I have tryed multiple times to kill my self and pray to any god that would put pitty on my soul. But all my desperate please for help went unnoticed. When you find Then lose your soul mate , or that special person that fits right in the center of your heart you feel like even dying wouldn't be much of a salvation. So this is why a siring full of heron is currently being shot down deep into my aching vain. when the realization set in that even in death I wouldn't find peace it made me want to rip out my heart even more. Feeling the warmth of my newly acquired drug spread through out my body I let my self fall back wards on the floor. Clutching my hair tight in both hands I can't help but to laugh out loud. Who ever thought first of the idea of finding peace in death must have been out of there fucking mind. I would rather be a strung out junkie only existing in one big ass haze of delirium that supports his habit by hacking rich bastereds bank accounts. But even now I feel to week. The want to give up becomes stronger and stronger every day. Why mello? Why didn't you just shoot me on my sleep. Rolling over on the floor into a box of who knows what I curl up in a ball. The really reason I can't take my life is because once in awhile I'll smell your scent . Once in awhile I here your laugh or demand of more chocolate. But every time I drift off to sleep I see your face and that not even the chance of salvation isn't worth giving up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !!!!!


	5. After all this time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing from deathnote and make no profit from my writings.

~ year time skip ~

The cold air cuts through ny worn through holey tights. Click, clack , click rings deep into my ears as my high heel boots hit the dark pavement. Tonight is the night I say to myself. "tonights the night......after all this time and sacrifice" I whisper to no one but the air. Really if your thinking I'm crazy I'm not. Only the sain people can hold a decent conversation with themselfs. To me it proves how strong your will is to continue on in life. Communication is the key to life and if your just able to be that strong, then anything is obtainable. I'm no philosopher, or great scientist..... Butt I have a beloved belief. Everything I went through, everything I did was to lead me right back to you. Every pimp,I had to every john I sucked was the bricks that made my road. Every needle and every forced injection. Everyone....... Blinded by there own darkness lead me to your under ground whore house. The very one that might have a certin "daddy" I owe. It might even be the same slave trade whore house That with the smallest hope in well be that place. Selled,traded,molesting palace that I will blindly throw my self into. all this time has passed and yet with not a doubt in my heart I know when the bidding on my body is up on that stage. you won't be able to live knowing I'm someone elses. Allways in control. Always possive. Always you. I continue to walk into the shadows and allow hands I cannot see grab at my body. Smirking I can feel there wonder as to why I'm not screaming for bloody mercy. Maybe because I know my fate is now in there hands. Or maybe because there taking me right to my rightful salvation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I tryed my best on this chpt. Hope you enjoyed ^.^


	6. After all this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok for some reason chapters 4&6 did not get posted. So please if you had started reading my stories and still have alil intrest left in my story please continue reading. Thank you.

~ year time skip ~

The cold air cuts through ny worn through holey tights. Click, clack , click rings deep into my ears as my high heel boots hit the dark pavement. Tonight is the night I say to myself. "tonights the night......after all this time and sacrifice" I whisper to no one but the air. Really if your thinking I'm crazy I'm not. Only the sain people can hold a decent conversation with selfs. To me it proves how as strong your will is to continue on in life. Communication is the key to life and if your just able to be that strong, then anything is obtainable. I'm no philosopher, or great scientist..... Butt I have a beloved belief. Everything I went through, everything I did was to lead me right back to you. Every pimp,I had to every john I sucked was the bricks that made my road. Every needle and every forced injection. Everyone.......lead me to your under ground whore house. The very one that might have a certin "daddy" I owe. It might even be the same slave trade whore house. That with the smallest hope in my heart......that it well be that place. Selled,traded,molesting palace that I will blindly throw my self into. all this time has passed and yet with not a doubt in my heart I know when the bidding on my body is up, you won't be able to live knowing I'm someone elses. Allways in control. Always possive. Always you. I continue to walk into the shadows and allow hands I cannot see grab at my body. Smirking I can feel there wonder as to why I'm not screaming for bloody mercy. Maybe because I know my fate is now in there hands. Or maybe because there taking me right to my rightful salvation.


	7. The plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the ending of part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own death note or make any profit.

~ six months ago ~

inhale.  
Exhale.  
Inhale.  
Exhale.  
Breath in.  
Breath out.  
Staring at the chipped paint on the wall across from me I can feel my high coming down.  
Breath in.  
Curling up more into myself on are tattered up couch memories of you start breaking into my mind.  
Your smile.  
Your laugh.  
Your scent.  
With drugs I can almost pretend you were still with me.  
Almost.  
Breath out.  
Needles, pipes, tinfoil, all scattered on the floor before me. I pick up the most shinest razor from the piles.  
Breath in.  
Breath out.  
I have to keep reminding ny self to breath because the hole in ny chest is begging me to let go. Looking down now at my arms rows and rows of scars gave set in. really theres no part of me left untainted. Thin scars, thick scars, jagged lines with bruises decorates me now.  
Breath in.  
just to humor myself I trace over my rist.  
Metal cuts in.  
Blood flows out.  
Oh dear have I hit a vain?  
After so long the blood loss starts to get to me. "matty oh matty. Why are you doing this to your self " I can here you in my mind every time I try to let my self bleed out. "your so smart and valuable please don't do this!" "SHUT Up!" I scream.  
breath in.  
Clenching my hair in ny fists I can't take this no more. "You left ME YOU FUCKER.....so why should I still live. Why should I still fight for this"  
Breath out.  
for the frist time mello you answered me back.  
"maybe your not fighting hard anof for the right thing"  
Standing up now I start to stomp on the materials on the floor. I don't know why but maybe if I stomp the fuck out of every thing that even means anything to me anymore I might feel better.  
sliping on one of the needles on the floor I fall back and crack my head on the tv and black out.  
your last words you spoke to me echo over and over again.  
maybe I'm not fighting for the right thing. Then it dawns in me what I must do. Laying there passed out really helped me plan out most if it. The moment I woke up I wanted to start seting up my plan. But frist thing frist I need to get out this hospital.


End file.
